I Won't Regress--
by Kadge Rose-Feather
Summary: Alternate Ending to Shutter Island because I was dissatisfied with the canon ending. Please leave a review :)


_**Kadge Rose-Feather**_

**2014**

* * *

"I won't regress," he said. "My name is Andrew Laeddis. I murdered my wife, Dolores, in the spring of 'fifty-two..."

* * *

The sun was in the room when he woke.

He sat up and looked toward the bars, but the bars weren't there.

Just a window, lower than it should have been until he realized he was up high, on the top bunk in the room he'd shared with Trey and Bibby.

It was empty. He hopped off the bunk and opened the closet and saw his clothes there, fresh from the laundry, and he put them on.

He walked to the window and placed a foot up on the ledge to tie his shoe and looked out at the compound and saw patients and orderlies and guards in equal number, some milling in front of the hospital, others continuing the cleanup, some tending to what remained of the rosebushes along the foundation.

He considered his hands as he tied the second shoe. Rock steady. His vision was as clear as it had been when he was a child and his head as well.

He left the room and walked until he'd reached the creamy base of the hospital stairs, where he settled.

He heard the sound of the ferry horn as it neared the dock, and he saw Cawley and the warden talking in the center of the lawn in front of the hospital and they nodded in acknowledgement and he nodded back.

Looking out at the grounds, he felt as good as he'd felt in a long time; like he'd been on a boat in the middle of a foggy lake for a very long time, and now he'd finally reached the other side. Everything was so _clear._

He smiled as Chuck came and sat by him, taking one of the offered cigarettes between his teeth. The stench of the gasoline from the zippo as he leaned in towards the flame made the day seem brighter somehow.

"How we doing this morning?"

The question seemed innocent enough, but Teddy could tell there was hidden intentions behind it.

"Good. You?"

He sucked the smoke back into lungs.

"Can't complain."

He noticed Cawley and the warden watching them like hawks, and he understood completely.

He took another pull on the cigarette, noticed how sweet the tobacco tasted. It was richer, and it clung to the back of his throat.

"So what's our next move?" He said.

"You tell me boss."

He smiled at Chuck. The two of them sitting in the morning sunlight, taking their ease, acting as if all was just fine with the world. He considered his response carefully, eyeing the warden with caution for a moment. He knew this was a test, and that he had a choice here. It was actually quite a calculated game, only this time it was his life that was on the line.

"Well, I'm guessing no more trench coats, huh?"

Chuck looked surprised at that; but he stifled it quickly, offering a nod.

"No, no more trench coats."

He was still looking at him though and his gaze said that he needed more than that to make a solid judgement. After all, who knew what ways his mind could warp to try and protect itself; what sorts of new fabricated stories it could concoct to shield itself from the overwhelming weight of what he'd _done_ and what he'd _lost._

"Damn shame. Can't say these shades of blue suit me all that well, Doc."

And there it was, laid out _blatantly. _It made Teddy slightly uncomfortable to be so upfront, but he knew it was necessary here. He could do plenty of hiding later, as long as it meant holding onto this new found sense of clarity.

The man shot a gaze over at Cawley and the warden, gave a tight nod. His body language suggested that he was relieved. Afterwards, he cast his eyes back on Teddy, almost to check if _he _wasn't the one imagining things.

"We can't let you have anything that could result in you slipping back into your delusion, Andrew, you know that."

And he did. It made sense, after all.

But he still twinged when Lester used that _name_, running a tongue over the inside of his cheek nervously.

"Yeah. Yeah I know, Doc."

Chuck smiled at that, and it shone bright and genuine in the early morning of the day. As the smoke drifted up around them Teddy felt a profound sense of luck settle in a deep part of his chest. It would have been easy just to give up on him; hell, anyone else would have.

But they hadn't, and now he wasn't gonna let go of his sanity returned to him for anything in the world.

"Then I guess we'll just start wherever you think's appropriate and all."

And he really did trust Chuck- _Dr. Sheehan _to do just that.

_He was gonna get better, and then he was gonna get out of there. _There had been so much time wasted already, and he felt like the world was just out there, waiting for him to explore it; big and bountiful and ready for the taking. Rehabilitation surely wouldn't take forever. Not with a man like Sheehan guiding him.

He waved to Cawley as the man walked away, trailed by several orderlies carrying a large lump of white material with a glint that shone in the morning sun.

Not meant for him. Nope, no way.

Teddy was on the road to recovery now, and there wasn't a thing in this world that was gonna stop him; not even himself.

* * *

**i wrote this because i've seen the movie about 5 times and am continually upset about the ending so; here's a different one. reviews would be highly highly appreciated!**


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